{"id":48,"date":"2004-03-09T17:48:17","date_gmt":"2004-03-10T00:48:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/keymasterproductions.com\/blog\/?p=48"},"modified":"2019-01-09T03:04:12","modified_gmt":"2019-01-09T03:04:12","slug":"doh-looks-like-dear-abby-isnt-a-simpsons-fan-from-e-online","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/keymasterproductions.com\/blog\/2004\/03\/09\/doh-looks-like-dear-abby-isnt-a-simpsons-fan-from-e-online\/","title":{"rendered":"“D’oh! Looks like Dear Abby isn’t a Simpsons fan”"},"content":{"rendered":"

I grabbed the copy below from an E Online news post:<\/span><\/p>\n

The nationally syndicated columnist was taken in by a hoax letter that bore a strong resemblance to a day in the life of the dysfunctional cartoon family.<\/p>\n

Dear Abby (real name: Jeanne Phillips) penned a reply to a letter purportedly from “Stuck in a Love Triangle,” which described a picture of less-than-domestic bliss.<\/p>\n

The column was sent out to papers last week, but was withheld from Monday’s editions after a sharp-eyed editor recognized Simpson similarities. In the column, titled “Wife meets perfect match after husband strikes out,” Stuck complained to Dear Abby that she was a 34-year-old mother of three, married for 10 years to a “greedy, selfish, inconsiderate and rude” partner by the name of Gene.<\/p>\n

An unwitting Gene had committed the unforgivable sin of gifting his darling wife with a bowling ball for her birthday–a bowling ball that was sized for his fingers and engraved with his name, no less.
\nFrustrated, Stuck decided to make the most of the situation and hit the local alley for bowling lessons.<\/p>\n

Little did she expect to find love at the lanes, but as it turned out, a dashing suitor by the name of Franco, a “kind, considerate and loving” individual, was waiting in the wings.<\/p>\n

Soon thereafter, Stuck fell head over ninepin for Franco, who subsequently proposed.<\/p>\n

“I no longer love Gene,” Stuck confessed in her letter. “I want to divorce him and marry Franco. At the same time, I’m worried that Gene won’t be able to move on with his life. I also think our kids would be devastated. What should I do?”<\/p>\n

Replying in her usual sanctimonious, pun-laden manner, Dear Abby advised Stuck to discuss her reasons for cheating with Gene.<\/p>\n

“To save the marriage,” read the smarmy counsel, “he might be willing to change back to the man who bowled you over in the first place.”<\/p>\n

An editor at one of the newspapers that subscribes to the column noticed that the events described sounded awfully similar to an episode of The Simpsons titled “Life on the Fast Lane.”<\/p>\n

In the episode, a less-than-suave Homer presents Marge with a birthday bowling ball.<\/p>\n

Marge heads off to the lanes to bowl a few rounds, where she meets another man.<\/p>\n

In both the letter and the show, each husband grows suspicious of his wife after discovering a bowling glove–a gift from the other man.<\/p>\n

Homer reacts by proclaiming his love for Marge, who later meets him at the nuclear power plant where he works.<\/p>\n

Before a crowd of cheering coworkers, Homer hefts Marge into his arms and carries her out of the plant–presumably to live happily ever after.<\/p>\n

The conclusion to Stuck in a Love Triangle’s star-crossed romance, on the other hand, will forever remain a mystery.<\/p>\n

Via E Online<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I grabbed the copy below from an E Online news post: The nationally syndicated columnist was taken in by a hoax letter that bore a strong resemblance to a day in the life of the dysfunctional cartoon family. Dear Abby (real name: Jeanne Phillips) penned a reply to a letter purportedly from “Stuck in a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[32,255,575,660],"class_list":["post-48","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ramblings","tag-advice","tag-funny","tag-simpsons","tag-tv"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/keymasterproductions.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/keymasterproductions.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/keymasterproductions.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/keymasterproductions.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/keymasterproductions.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=48"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/keymasterproductions.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3701,"href":"https:\/\/keymasterproductions.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48\/revisions\/3701"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/keymasterproductions.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=48"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/keymasterproductions.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=48"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/keymasterproductions.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=48"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}