{"id":2978,"date":"2011-03-02T19:54:48","date_gmt":"2011-03-03T02:54:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/keymasterproductions.com\/blog\/?p=2978"},"modified":"2011-03-02T19:54:48","modified_gmt":"2011-03-03T02:54:48","slug":"a-winning-lexicon","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/keymasterproductions.com\/blog\/2011\/03\/02\/a-winning-lexicon\/","title":{"rendered":"A Winning Lexicon"},"content":{"rendered":"

First off, I like many people, such as Darren Franich<\/a> at Entertainment Weekly am completely and utterly obsessed with Mr. Charlie Sheen. Franich nailed by writing, <\/p>\n

“In just a matter of days, Sheen has already become a kind of Internet Megameme \u2014 he\u2019s like the perfect combination of Chuck Norris and the Double Rainbow guy, with just a touch of Dramatic Chipmunk.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Speaking of the megameme, he claimed a twitter account and in only a single day amassed over 1,000,000 followers. I just logged in and am following him and he’s now up to 1,076,858 followers. I now use Twitter to follow Phish’s set lists as they happen and Sheen’s words.
\nNext, keeping the winning theme going, Judy Berman at “Flavorpill” has been nice enough to compile of list of all the winning words and phrases that Charlie Sheen has uttered recently. As she put it, <\/p>\n

His language is a thing of wonder, oscillating between slang we haven\u2019t heard since the early ’90s, hybrid terms ripped from the pages of fantasy novels, and words he has completely and totally re-appropriated (e.g., “winning”).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

His phrases blow “I’m taking my talents to South Beach” completely out of the water. I have already started to use a few of his phrases in my own life and already am winning more than I used to. I know that it’s too bad that no one else but me can be on the drug known as Jeff Lipson but that’s for everyone’s benefit, because obviously you wouldn’t be able to handle it – your face would melt off and your children would weep over your exploded body.
\nSo, without further ado, the words and wisdom of Mr. Sheen:
\n Adonis DNA<\/strong>
\n n. Along with tiger blood, the building blocks of a Charlie Sheen.
\n \u201cI will not believe that if I do something then I have to follow a certain path because it was written for normal people. People who aren\u2019t special. People who don\u2019t have tiger blood and Adonis DNA.\u201d
\n Bitchin\u2019<\/strong>
\n adj. Beyond awesome.
\n \u201cI\u2019m tired of pretending I\u2019m not a total bitchin\u2019 rock star from Mars.\u201d (Paging David Bowie \u2014 don\u2019t you own that one, bro?)
\n Charlie Sheen<\/strong>
\n n. Totally bitchin\u2019, incredibly expensive drug that will probably kill you.
\n \u201cI am on a drug. It\u2019s called Charlie Sheen. It\u2019s not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.\u201d
\n Cryptology<\/strong>
\n n. The science of understanding WTF is going on with Charlie Sheen.
\n \u201cRead behind the frickin\u2019 hieroglyphics\u2026 this is cryptology.\u201d
\n Duh<\/strong>
\n n. A term that gained popularity in the last two decades of the 20th century meaning, roughly, \u201cEverybody knows that.\u201d
\n \u201cDuh, winning! It\u2019s, like, guys, IMDb right there, 62 movies and a ton of success. I mean, c\u2019mon bro, I won best picture at 20. I wasn\u2019t even trying. I wasn\u2019t even warm.\u201d
\n Gnarly<\/strong>
\n adj. Intense, fucked up.
\n \u201c[I]t got so gnarly that Stan just went, \u2018I\u2019m out.\u2019 That\u2019s fine. That\u2019s how I roll. And if it\u2019s too gnarly for people, then buh-bye. There\u2019s the freakin\u2019 door, you know?\u201d
\n Goddess<\/strong>
\n n. One of two women who fell from the heavens (or the strip-club stage, whatever) to fulfill Sheen\u2019s every need.
\n \u201cI\u2019m not saying that it\u2019s not true. But I\u2019m laughing. And I\u2019m laughing with the goddesses, I\u2019m laughing with my friends.\u201d
\n Mercury surfboard<\/strong>
\n n. Charlie Sheen\u2019s vehicle of choice.
\n \u201cIt\u2019s been a tsunami of media. And I\u2019ve been riding it on a mercury surfboard. Right off the bat, sorry.\u201d
\n Troll<\/strong>
\n n. Person who has Twitter account and\/or understands how to use the internet.
\n \u201cYou look at some of these retarded zombies, these trolls that roll out of there and heading back for the rock to crawl back under before the sun peeks out \u2014 and they\u2019re putting so much stock into the words and the thoughts and, as I have said, the gibberish of fools, and not checking anything with me.\u201d
\n Warlock<\/strong>
\n n. Male witch, like Charlie Sheen.
\n \u201cWe are high priest Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom! Print that, people.\u201d
\n Winning<\/strong>
\n n. The only thing Charlie Sheen is addicted to. Widely believed to be a more potent form of crack cocaine.
\n \u201cI\u2019m so tired of pretending like my life isn\u2019t just perfect and just winning every second, and I\u2019m not just perfect and bitchin\u2019 and just delivering the goods at every frickin\u2019 turn.\u201d <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

First off, I like many people, such as Darren Franich at Entertainment Weekly am completely and utterly obsessed with Mr. Charlie Sheen. Franich nailed by writing, “In just a matter of days, Sheen has already become a kind of Internet Megameme \u2014 he\u2019s like the perfect combination of Chuck Norris and the Double Rainbow guy, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,8,11],"tags":[117,147,660,705],"class_list":["post-2978","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","category-movies","category-ramblings","tag-charliesheen","tag-crazy","tag-tv","tag-winning"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/keymasterproductions.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2978","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/keymasterproductions.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/keymasterproductions.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/keymasterproductions.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/keymasterproductions.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2978"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/keymasterproductions.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2978\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/keymasterproductions.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2978"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/keymasterproductions.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2978"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/keymasterproductions.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2978"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}