literature

RIP JD

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The Onion wrote a news article about the passing of JD Salinger in the style of “A Catcher in the Rye” which made me more than chuckle. I think that if you read it you will laugh and then some too. It begins, and I quote:

In this big dramatic production that didn’t do anyone any good (and was pretty embarrassing, really, if you think about it), thousands upon thousands of phonies across the country mourned the death of author J.D. Salinger, who was 91 years old for crying out loud

RIP to America’s Favorite Recluse. He owed no one anything. He already gave more than enough.

music

In Memory of Jerry

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Today marks the 10th anniversary of the day Jerry Garcia passed away. I remember exactly where I was and who told me: in front of Lori’s house and by Shrujal as he stood in front of his parent’s Mercedes 2 door convertible. “Did you hear that Jerry is dead?, ” he said almost happily (he was not a fan of long-haired freaky people). “Not just in the Dead but dead dead.”

To mark this occasion, the NY Times has an article in today’s paper about what has happened to his and his band’s legacy since then. Feel free to read it after the jump.

Jerry Garcia: The Man, the Myth, the Area Rug

By SETH SCHIESEL

Published: August 9, 2005

SAN FRANCISCO, Aug. 8 – One of the icons of modern American culture now resides in a nondescript warehouse about 30 miles north of here, in a windowless, climate-controlled, heavily-alarmed room built like a bomb shelter that is called simply the Vault.

There, in towering rows of 13,000 audiotapes, 3,000 videotapes and about 250,000 feet of traditional 16-millimeter film lives the recorded history of the Grateful Dead, one of the seminal American rock bands.

The Grateful Dead ceased to exist on Aug. 9, 1995, when the band’s lead guitarist and most recognizable figure, Jerry Garcia, died at age 53 of a heart attack at a drug treatment center. Yet 10 years later, the man and the band remain alive for millions of fans, and the once notoriously ad hoc Grateful Dead business operation has become a model for a music industry struggling with the Internet and digital democracy.

“When I first got into the record business I learned that it wasn’t cool to be into the Grateful Dead,” said Christopher Sabec, 40, a lawyer who said he saw the band more than 250 times and is now chief executive of the Jerry Garcia Estate L.L.C., controlled by Mr. Garcia’s heirs. “But if you look at where the music business has been forced to go by technology, now it’s not about selling records. It’s about live shows and inspiring a fan base to be absolutely loyal. Hello? Who did that first? The Grateful Dead.”

The Jerry Garcia company and Grateful Dead Productions are separate businesses each generating millions of dollars of revenue a year. Just how many millions is not publicly known. But consumers still buy more than a million J. Garcia-brand neckties each year, and Cherry Garcia is often the top-selling brand of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, each pint generating royalties for the Garcia heirs.

The band’s four surviving members – the drummers Mickey Hart and Bill Kreutzmann, the bassist Phil Lesh and the guitarist Bob Weir – have toured occasionally as the Dead, though not this year. They control the Grateful Dead’s licensing business, which oversees thousands of products sold around the world, like gas tank caps, incense burners, golf club covers and sandals. (The Garcia company receives a share of the proceeds.)

But for cultural and practical matters, the heart of the Grateful Dead’s legacy resides in the 10,000 cubic feet of space in Novato, north of San Francisco. The Vault feeds a continuing business based on regular releases of old concert recordings on iTunes, on the band’s Web sites and in stores, feeding old Deadheads and creating new fans.

Physically, there is only one key to the Vault, and only two people know where to find it. David Lemieux, 34, the band’s archivist, is one of them. Jeffrey Norman, one of the band’s engineers, is the other.

“This is it, the key to the Vault,” Mr. Lemieux said, holding up the gleaming shard of metal, a sliver that to some Deadheads may be more sacred than a splinter from the True Cross.

One major way the band and the Garcia company have kept the flame alive is by regularly releasing audio and video recordings of old concerts that have been restored with the latest digital techniques. Two years ago, for instance, the band released a DVD of its performance that closed San Francisco’s legendary Winterland Ballroom on Dec. 31, 1978.

“There is just no way we could have done the Winterland release without the current technology,” Mr. Lemieux said in his memorabilia-plastered office.

For fans used to fuzzy old cassettes, the new releases are a revelation.

“Many of us Deadheads are experiencing a renaissance now in our appreciation for the band because such high-quality recordings are available,” said Amir Bar-Lev, 33, a filmmaker from New York who said he saw the band more than 100 times. “Ten years ago I was listening to 20th-generation tapes kicking around the floor of my car. Now, thanks to all of the technology, I can hear the band in all its glory.”

Mr. Weir, the guitarist, said in a telephone interview on Friday from West Virginia, where he was on tour with his band RatDog, that although Mr. Garcia sometimes resented his own celebrity, he would have been pleased that his music endured. “I’m glad people can still enjoy it,” he said.

He continued: “I am a big fan of Duke Ellington and I never saw him live. I’m a big fan of John Coltrane and I never saw him live. I don’t want to put us on that level, but we don’t play all of this music casually or callously, and of course Jerry would appreciate people being able to experience it.”

More broadly, the Grateful Dead’s emphasis on touring over selling records presaged the music industry’s current predicament over file-sharing on the Internet.

The Grateful Dead was the first major band to allow fans to freely make and trade recordings of its live performances in the belief that spreading the music that way would ensure long-term success. That formula was later adopted almost wholesale by other successful bands, including Phish, andfans still avidly trade live Grateful Dead recordings online.

Even though there are now high-quality recordings for sale, created using the official sound-mixing boards used at concerts, fans are still free to trade recordings made in the crowd. The band used to offer a special section of seating for amateur tapers.

“They wanted to create a space for themselves and their fans to gather and play, and that didn’t sit well in the offices of the record business,” said Mr. Sabec, who is perhaps best known in the music industry for discovering and managing the 1990’s teen-pop group Hanson. “Now I find myself sitting in meetings where other bands are using the Dead as a model.”

In the years immediately after Mr. Garcia’s death, Grateful Dead merchandising brought in more than $50 million in annual gross revenue. That figure may have declined a bit since then, and the band’s licensing activities are now separate from the Garcia estate’s business affairs, but both entities continue to thrive.

In addition to ties and ice cream, the Garcia company has expanded into rugs and wine. An artist as well as a musician, Mr. Garcia signed his work “J. Garcia.”

“I’m not trying to turn the J. Garcia brand into something you find at Target, but I am trying to broaden it,” Mr. Sabec said. “There are J. Garcia carpets that my mother would be happy to have in her house, and she’s not a Deadhead. If you were to position it only for people who were fans of Jerry’s music, it would be a much smaller market than what we’re going for.”

Yet even as the Garcia company has expanded its ambitions, the band’s business wing, Grateful Dead Productions, has in some ways pared down its operations in recent years, like many United States companies.

For a few years after Mr. Garcia’s death, as the technology bubble expanded (Aug. 9, 1995, was also the day Netscape stock went public, signaling the coming dot-com boom), the band pursued a vision of creating a business tentatively called Bandwagon, which would function as a one-stop merchandising and online distribution operation for a variety of musical acts. In addition, the band came close to creating what would have amounted to a countercultural theme park in San Francisco.

“The whole Bandwagon thing was a function of the dot-com mania, especially spectacularly in the Bay Area,” said Dennis McNally, the band’s longtime publicist and historian. “There was also an idea of creating a performance space and museum called Terrapin Station, which we figured we needed $50 million to do. And in the context of the dot-com revolution, that seemed perfectly doable.”

In the end, the band balked at potentially having to cede final control of the projects to outside investors. And as the dot-com bubble burst, the band went in the opposite direction. It laid off dozens of longtime employees, closing its own warehouse and largely outsourcing the logistics of the memorabilia business.

Now, the band has only about 10 employees, including Mr. Lemieux at the Vault.

Although the theme park never came to be, on Sunday in San Francisco, the city unveiled the newly renamed Jerry Garcia Amphitheater in John McLaren Park, near the blue-collar Excelsior District where Mr. Garcia grew up before moving to the better-known Haight-Ashbury neighborhood.

Backstage at the event, Mr. Garcia’s older brother, Tiff, seemed to share his sibling’s somewhat ambivalent attitude toward the marketing of celebrity.

“They’re trying to do an Elvis on him, with all of the garments and merchandise and different items,” he said. “But I’m not surprised. He meant so much to so many people, and I’m proud of the fact that one individual could draw so much attention.”

literature

In Memory of Saul Bellow

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Saul Bellow passed away recently and it saddened me greatly. Although I have not read many of his books, his existence, along with Eli Weisel, acted as Jewish Titans. At one point in his novel Herzog, Mr. Bellow seems to set out a kind of manifesto, a ringing checklist of the challenges the novelist must confront, or the reality he must contain or describe:

“Well, for instance, what it means to be a man. In a city. In a century. In transition. In a mass. Transformed by science. Under organized power. Subject to tremendous controls. In a condition caused by mechanization. After the late failure of radical hopes. In a society that was no community and devalued the person. Owing to the multiplied power of numbers which made the self negligible. Which spent military billions against foreign enemies but would not pay for order at home. Which permitted savagery and barbarism in its own great cities. At the same time, the pressure of human millions who have discovered what concerted efforts and thoughts can do. As megatons of water shape organisms on the ocean floor. As tides polish stones. As winds hollow cliffs…”

The only word I can think of is “powerful”. Mankind has lost another great thinker.

ramblings

In Honor of Jacob Cohen, aka Rodney Dangerfield

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To honor the life of Jacob Cohen, aka Rodney Dangerfield, I have compiled for your faithful reader some of his best one liners:

I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west!

My father was stupid. He worked in a bank and they caught him stealing pens.

When I was born..the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father.. “I’m very sorry. We did everything we could..but he pulled through.”

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.

My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

I worked in pet store and people kept asking how big I’d get.

One year they wanted to make me poster boy..for birth control.

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof!

My uncle’s dying wish was to have me sitting on his lap. He was in the electric chair.

I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning!

Once when I was lost.. I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him..”Do you think we’ll ever find them.” He said..”I don’t know kid.. there are so many places they can hide.”
I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor.. so they sent a priest up to talk to me. He said..”On your mark…”

On Halloween..the parents send their kids out looking like me. Last year.. one kid tried to rip my face off! Now it’s different.. when I answer the door the kids hand me candy.

When my old man wanted sex.. my mother would show him a picture of me.

I had a lot of pimples too. One day I fell asleep in a library. I woke up and a blind man was reading my face.

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next tuesday.

One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!

For two hours..some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.

I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette!

A travel agent offered me a 21 day special. He told me I would fly from New York to London. Then from Tokyo back to New York.I asked him..”How am I supposed to get from London to Tokyo?” He told me..”That is why we give you 21 days.” Another travel agent told me I could spend 7 nights in Hawaii. No days.. just nights.

My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good. They say..”Love thy neighbor as thy self.” What am I supposed to do? Jerk him off too?

At christmas time I sat on santa’s lap. His fly was open. Boy..what a present he gave me!

My sex life is terrible. My wife put a mirror over the dogs bed. Actually she did put the mirror over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself laugh.

I’m a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.

I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. She said..”Why should I.. you never put out for me.”

I asked her if she enjoys a cigarette after sex.She said..”No.. one drag is enough.”

A girl phoned me and said..”Come on over there’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home!

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

I went to a massage parlor. It was self service.

If it weren’t for pick-pocketers i’d have no sex life at all.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said..”Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said.. “No.. I hate myself now.”

She was no bargain either. She showed up with pigtails under her arms.

She was fat and ugly. She was so fat that…
– She got on the scale and a card came out saying.. “One at a time.”
– Her bath tub has stretch marks.
– Her belly button makes an echo.
– She has a dress with a sign on the back saying.. “Caution wide load.”
– When guys have sex with her they ask for directions.
– One day I ran into her with my car. She asked me why I didn’t ride around her. I told her that I didn’t think I had enough gas.
– Her bikini is made out of two bed sheets.
– When guys eat her out they ask for provisions for the trip.

She was so ugly that…
– She was known as a two bagger. That’s when a girl is so ugly that you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks.
– I bent down to pet her cat only to find that it was the hair on her legs.
– I took her to a dog show and she won first prize.
– They use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.
– I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her
– The last time I saw a mouth like hers it had a hook on the end of it.

I was tired one night and I went to the bar to have a few drinks. The bartender asked me.. “What’ll you have?” I said..”surprise me.” He showed me a naked picture of my wife.

During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

My marriage is on the rocks again. Yeah..my wife just broke up with her boyfriend. One day..as I came home early from work..I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy..”Hey buddy..why are you doing that for?” He said..”Because you came home early.”

I went to look for a used car. I found my wife’s dress in the back seat!

Once in a restaurant I made a toast to her..”The best woman a man ever had.” The waiter joined me.

It’s been a rough day. I got up this morning..put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I’m afraid to go to the bathroom!

I had a problem. I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem…I don’t know who to thank!

My friends and I played a new version of Russian roulette. We passed around six girls and one of them had VD.

I went to see my doctor.. you know him.. Doctor Vidi-boom-ba? Yeah..I told him once.. “Doctor.. every morning when I get up and look in the mirror..I feel like throwing up; what’s wrong with me?” He said..”I don’t know but your eyesight is perfect.”

I remember when I swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

I told him I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin.

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. He told me to wear a brown necktie.

He found a new way to cover up his bad breath…he holds up his arms.

Why every time he smokes..he blows onion rings.

My psychiatrist told me I’m going crazy. I told him.. “If you don’t mind I’d like a second opinion. “He said..”Alright..you’re ugly too.”

I was so ugly..my mother used to feed me with a sling shot!

When I was born the doctor took one look at my face…turned me over and said.. “Look…twins!”

And we were poor too. Why if I wasn’t born a boy..I’d have nothing to play with!

ramblings

Disaster, Part 1

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There are many ways that sadness has infused my daily life over the past few years. Today’s disaster, the explosion of the Space Shuttle Columbia on re-entry, has added yet another splash of sadness to my life.

Today, intellect and innovation were destroyed 39 miles above the earth. Bright, brave and brilliant men and women who strived to increase the heights to which the rest of man could climb perished in a ball of gas and flames. It is not the way in which they died that saddens me so, it is who died. The world lost scientists who were pushing the limits of what we understood about our bodies, our planet and our universe. These were the types of people we cannot afford to lose. I pray that we do not lose any more.