Tag: goons

sports

Goons: Indoor Lax Style

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Below is a passage verbatim from a Village Voice article on the new Indoor Lacrosse League and the local team the New York Titans (who split their home games between Madison Square Garden and Nassau Coliseum). It makes me remember the days when a wok lid was a Frisbee, when making holes in walls was deemed a questionably okay pastime by some other than me, and when being asked, “What percentage of freak – goon – creature – dork are you?” was the start of a normal conversation. So, without further ado, here is the article:
Village Voice:
As in the NHL, indoor lacrosse teams usually have a “goon” – hockey players prefer to be called “enforcers,” but NLL defenders don’t get to be so picky – who’ll fight opposing players when necessary in order to protect their more talented teeammates and fire up the crowd. The best offensive players aren’t supposed to fight, because their team can’t afford to have them get injured or land in the penalty box, but for those same reasons, opposing teams are constantly trying to provoke Boyle and Powell. “You’ll get gooned up, but you have to keep your composure,” said Boyle, which led to the following conversation:
Boyle: You hope that your goon comes in and messes with their goon, and they goon each other out.
Powell: And you hope your goon is tougher than their goon. Or you will get gooned.
Boyle: Right, exactly. Because otherwise their goon’s gonna beat up your goon, and then that goon’s just going to keep beating the hell out of you.
Powell: Gooning.

ramblings

Old Enough To Know Better

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From the “I Don’t Know What To Say” Department:

Emergency workers helped a New Hampshire man out of a difficult situation over the weekend after a friend apparently locked a padlock around his testicles.

According to the Portsmouth Herald, police reported that the 39-year-old man was intoxicated when they arrived at the scene on July 30 at about 3:40 a.m. The man, who was not identified, told them that he had the padlock around his testicles for two weeks.

The man said that a friend put the lock on while he was drunk and passed out. When he woke up, the friend was gone.

“Never in my 13 years have I seen anything like this,” Cpl. H.D. Wood told the Herald. The man told police that he tried to remove the lock with a hacksaw because the key had broken off in the lock.

He was taken to Exeter Hospital, where a locksmith removed the padlock. He was treated and released, and the hospital said he had no lasting injury. Police said that they did not know the motive for the incident.

I would surmise the motive was to goon it up. This crime reeks of goonage to me. I bet his friends can’t wait for his 40th birthday party. Hopefully that’ll make the papers as well.

Via Todd