Category: ramblings

ramblings

Do You Take This Goat to be Your Lawfully Wedded Wife?

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A Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his “wife”, after he was caught having sex with the animal. I love this world! After the jump, read the text in case the BBC takes down the article…
Happy Friday!
A Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his “wife”, after he was caught having sex with the animal. The goat’s owner, Mr Alifi, said he surprised the man with his goat and took him to a council of elders. They ordered the man, Mr Tombe, to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars ($50) to Mr Alifi.
“We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together,” Mr Alifi said.
Mr Alifi, Hai Malakal in Upper Nile State, told the Juba Post newspaper that he heard a loud noise around midnight on 13 February and immediately rushed outside to find Mr Tombe with his goat.
“When I asked him: ‘What are you doing there?’, he fell off the back of the goat, so I captured and tied him up”.
Mr Alifi then called elders to decide how to deal with the case.
“They said I should not take him to the police, but rather let him pay a dowry for my goat because he used it as his wife,” Mr Alifi told the newspaper.

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We're Number 9!

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I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, going to Bingo was a good value and if there one thing that I’ve been programmed to do since birth is to recognize a good value. It seems that Bingo is now the 9th best public university in the country according to US News and World Report (see below).

publicvalue.jpg

Go Colonials/Bearcats!

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Lawn Guyland History

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Newsday printed a cover that read “Welcome to Lawn Guyland” at the height of the Amy Fisher affair and I still am in love with that pronunciation – it helps me get peole to say Long Island the “correct” way. The Freeport Motel/Boatel, where she and Joey had a few of their illicit trysts, is around the corner from my grandparents’ house so whenever I visit them, I think of that magical time in LI history. It turns out the infamous trio have agreed to appear in TV reunion. I guess that since there were 3 different TV movies on the same night about this story, I’m not surprised that their reunion is televised – anything for a buck, eh?

After the jump, read the full text of a NY Times article about those movies.

Via Neu

Amy Fisher Story a Surprise Smash In 3 TV Movies

By BILL CARTER (NYT) 922 words

Published: January 5, 1993

Surpassing the expectations of network officials, each of the three made-for-television movies based on the Amy Fisher case and broadcast in the last week was a stunning success, and two of the three are likely to emerge as the most popular television movies of the season.

The NBC movie, which was broadcast on Dec. 28, had a 19.1 rating and was the highest-rated television movie of the season so far. The ABC movie, broadcast Sunday night, had a 19.4 in the overnight ratings and may top the NBC version’s when final figures are released today. The CBS movie, shown on Sunday at the same time as ABC’s, had a 15.8 overnight rating and is likely to be about the seventh-highest-rated movie of the season. (Each national ratings point represents 931,000 homes; overnight ratings are only from the top 28 cities, and each point represents 462,634 homes).

The average rating for a network show is about 12.

Executives from each network acknowledged yesterday that they were shocked by the strong showing for all three Amy Fisher movies, each of which told the story of how she shot the wife of the man she said was her lover. “I was stunned,” said Ruth Slawson, the senior vice president of movies for NBC. “I don’t know anyone in the business who wasn’t stunned.”

Never before had two television movies on the same subject competed head to head, and no subject had ever been covered in three separate television movies. “Like everyone else, I expected the two movies to split the audience Sunday night,” Ms. Slawson said. “I wasn’t sure how they would do after ours had been on, but I guess you could say Amy has become a cottage industry.”

And There’s More

Indeed, Ms. Fisher has been fodder for ratings-hungry programs all over television. (Last night, the tabloid syndicated magazine show “Hard Copy” ran a few moments from what it labeled an X-rated home video recorded by Ms. Fisher and a boyfriend before the shooting took place.) The CBS movie, called “Casualties of Love: The ‘Long Island Lolita’ Story” and starring Alyssa Milano, will be shown twice more this month on the USA cable channel. It will be the first time a network television movie has ever resurfaced that quickly on cable.

NBC has already been taking advantage of Ms. Fisher’s notoriety. The network’s weekly news magazine program “Dateline NBC” broadcast an interview with Ms. Fisher each of the past two weeks and scored the highest ratings in that program’s history. The first interview pushed “Dateline” to seventh place in the weekly ratings. It usually finishes about 45th.

“All of us perpetuated this,” Ms. Slawson said. “It became a media phenomenon.”

It has become common for network movie departments to seek to win the rights to the same well-publicized murder cases, especially if they involve some aspect of lurid sex. On several occasions, two networks have bought the same story and competed to get their version on first.

But this was the first case that brought all three networks into the action. NBC purchased Ms. Fisher’s side of the story for an undisclosed sum. CBS bought the rights to the story as told by Mary Jo Buttafuoco, the victim, as well as by her husband, Joey. Thus Mr. Buttafuoco was portrayed as Ms. Fisher’s adulterous lover in the NBC movie — “Amy Fisher: My Story,” starring Noelle Parker — and as an innocent victim of her obsession in the CBS version.

Many Viewpoints

The ABC version, called “The Amy Fisher Story” and starring Drew Barrymore, used multiple points of view without defining who was guilty and who wasn’t. Yet the ABC version may be the highest rated of all: a result, several television executives said, of the decision to cast a well-known actress, Drew Barrymore, in the role of Amy.

“ABC’s also had the most sex,” said one senior television executive, who spoke on condition of anonymity.

Nonetheless, executives could not easily explain why this story had such widespread appeal. Ms. Slawson said, “I don’t believe there was anything so unique or gripping to this story to make it that special,” though she did say that Amy’s age — 18 — seemed to be a factor in luring viewers. “Thematically, this is just another ‘fatal attraction’ story,” Ms. Slawson added.

It carried so much more interest, she said, because of the attention that surrounded the case from the first moment. “It helped that this was a New York story. It was constantly in the New York tabloids and those stories get picked up by the national tabloid television magazine stories.”

Timing Is Cited

The timing between the events and the movie was also unusually short because Ms. Fisher reached a plea bargain under which she went to prison for 5 to 15 years. “We didn’t have to wait for a long-drawn-out trial,” Ms. Slawson said. “It was a very fresh story. You also had the very fact that three networks were doing the same story. That was another way for people to keep talking about it.”
Ms. Slawson said she had serious reservations about the process through which Amy Fisher’s story became the hottest thing on American television. “I think it’s a really sad commentary about what people are interested in,” she said.

“It’s crazy,” she added. “It’s self-perpetuating. We all say we don’t want to keep on doing these true-crime movies but then these numbers come in and what choice do we have? Obviously the audience wanted to watch it, for whatever reason. I’m happy with the success of our own movie. But overall I’m not happy about the state of movies on television.”

Photos: The networks’ three Amy Fishers were, from the top, Noelle Parker (Shane Harvey/NBC), NBC, Alyssa Milano, CBS (CBS), and Drew Barrymore, ABC. (ABC)

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Miyazaki Thursdays on TCM

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All this month on Turner Classic Movies, Thursday nights have been devouted to Hayao Miyazaki, a man who has been hailed as the “Japanese Walt Disney.” The first Thursday of the month they aired Princess Mononoke (which I’ve seen many, many times and love) and Spirited Away (which I am in the process of watching). I missed the 2 films from last Thursday, 1 of which “Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind” is my friend Gil’s favorite by Miyazaki, because I didn’t know it was “Miyazaki Month” until I started to watch Spirited Away last night. I quicked grabbed my remote and have scheduled My Neighborhood Totoro and Porco Rosso for taping this Thursday. I cannot wait to watch these well. The following Thursday they are showing 2 movies, Only Yesterday and Pom Poko, he produced that were directed by Isao Takahata. I’ll tape and watch those as well.

I’ve been a huge Miyazaki fan ever since I saw Princess Mononoke but have ben lazy in renting and watching his other films. This past summer, the MoMA held a Miyazaki exhibition and all of his films were screened over a 4 day period. I was super psyched to go but unfortunately, the exhibition happened to exactly coincide with the end of my parents’ 30 or so year marriage. My sister was staying with me while my family imploded and needless to say, neither of us made it to the museum. Its funny; on top of all the other reasons I was upset that weekend, I was upset that I missed out on seeing all these flicks. Now, when its cold and gross and I don’t want to leave my apartment, I have some fantastic movies just sitting around waiting to be watched. I can’t wait!

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Go Before They Are Gone

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I do not make a habit of reading USA Today. In fact, I never read it unless I’m on vacation and have no other option. That being said, I could not resist clicking on a banner for USAToday.com that was advertising the top Travel stories of this past week. The story that really called out to me was “Vanishing Treasures: 5 places to see before they are gone”. According to this paper, here are the top 5 cultural treasures that are in danger of going bye-bye:

  1. The snows of Kilimanjaro
  2. Polar bears on Hudson Bay
  3. Ancient Egyptian archaeological sites
  4. Gullah/Geechee culture
  5. Monarch butterflies’ annual migration

I’ll have to check my calendar but odds are I’m not seeing any of these in ’06. Hopefully they will still be around in ’07…

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Poke versus Tomoe

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I have been a big fan of Poke, an incredible sushi restaurant by me, for some time now. Since I moved nearby last April, I’ve eaten there on average 2 – 3 times a month. Its BYOB policy is fantastic for oenophiles and budget conscious connoisseurs alike. When the topic of sushi restaurants pops up in conversation, I boast about my neighborhood haunt, going as far to say that it’s the uptown Tomoe. Yes, the legendary Tomoe, where my good friend Mike ordered so much food one time, they refused to serve him, saying that he couldn’t possibly eat all of that fish. We convinced the staff that he’s a whale when it comes to sushi and that no fish would go to waste. Sure enough, he ate everything on his plate (which was more than what the other 3 people ate combined). The staff was so impressed that they brought us a bottle of sake on the house to honor this incredible feat. It was funny then and its still funny now.

The calling card for both of these establishments is a stark décor coupled with superb and sublime sushi. Poke is completely devoid of any décor – it is a plain white empty box with literally nothing on the walls. You feel like you are in somebody’s studio apartment which has been gutted and is in the process of being rebuilt. Tomoe has a bit of décor compared to Poke but all it really has are posters tacked onto the wall. In Zagats, Poke gets a 26 for food and a 4 for décor; a difference of 22 and the only difference I know of that is greater than twenty in the entire guide. Tomoe has less of a spread, though only slightly, as it gets a 27 for food and an 8 for décor; a difference of 19. I guess a poster or two goes a long way.

Mike has been dreaming about his epic meal at Tomoe for years now so I recently took him with me to Poke so that he could compare the two. Unfortunately, my ego took a slight hit as he was not head over heals for the joint. While he loved the rolls, which he declared to be better than those served at Tomoe, he said that the sushi was just okay. He didn’t think the toro was anything special and overall he thought that the pieces were on the small to average size (Tomoe is known for its oversized pieces of sushi). The more I thought about it, the more that I thought that he may be right.

My plan is to, for the first time in over a year, head back to Thompson Street to hit up Tomoe and see what that extra point for food gets ya. Hopefully the line won’t be too long (i.e. over a half an hour) and hopefully I’ll be bringing Mike with me. While I’ll be brown bagging a Sapporo while I wait on the street, as I cannot bring my own alcohol, I’m hoping Mike’s eating prowess once again nets us some free booze.

In case you are curious, here are the reviews from Zagats:

Poke: “Exceptional sushi” sliced by a “friendly chef” at “bargain” rates is slightly muted by the “grim”, “cramped” setup at this East Side Japanese BYO – but regulars say “if you drink enough sake, you’ll think it’s Nobu.”

Tomoe: “Neither rain nor sleet nor snow” deter diehards from this Village Japanese and its “affordable”, “monster-size” sushi that “melts in your mouth like buttah”; defying the “nonexistent decor” and “postage stamp”–dimensions, “ouch”-inducing lines wrap “around the block” every single day.

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Quotes of the Day

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“First, you are drunk. Second, this is not a waltz; it is the Peruvian national anthem. And third, I am not a woman; I am the Cardinal Archbishop of Lima.” – response given to George Brown, an English Labor foreign secretary in the 1960’s, after he stumblingly(i.e. drunkenly) invited a guest in flowing purple robes at a reception in Peru to dance.

”It’s so interesting to me that people talk about late-night comedy being cynical. ‘What’s more cynical than forming an ideological news network like Fox and calling it ‘fair and balanced’? What we do, I almost think, is adorable in its idealism. It’s quaint.” – John Stewart, on his program “The Daily Show.”

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My Framed LIRR Monthly Ticket

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“I’m never leaving the city again; I’m terrified of leaving the city.” – Anna Hillen, from a recent NY Times article about the suburbs.

Back in March, 2000, after living at home for 9 months post graduation, I moved into my first NYC apartment. It was a 2 bedroom converted to 3, my room was formerly part of the living room and my roommates were one of best college friends and another guy who happened to not only be a co-worker of my friend but a great friend of one of my best high school friends. In a small world moment, we figured out that we had actually all crashed in the same hotel room in New Orleans during Mardi Gras in 1999. It was exciting and exhilarating to be once again on my own and it was like being a freshman in college all over again, except that I had the riches of all of New York to explore.

A few weeks prior to this momentous event, when my family took me out for a good-bye dinner I raised my glass and gave this toast, “To, unless I really screw up, never having to live at home ever again.”
There were many reasons as to why I hated living at home. A grand sense of emasculation was one. I had so much freedom at college and I basically lost it all when I lived at home. My parents wanted to know where I was going, what I was doing, who I was with and when I would be home. They wanted to know if they should prepare dinner for me and a million of other little things that may seem nice and loving when you’re on the outside looking in. When you are on the inside, its annoying, grating and very quickly it made college feel like it was merely a dream.

Another reason was that I hated the commute with a passion. Mine was about 1.5 hrs one way when you took into account the drive to the train station, the trip in and the walk to work. My father drove me to the station each day (there was a severe lack of parking if you got there after 7:00 AM) which added to my fun as I needed to make arrangements to and from the station each and every day. I hated the way the commute turned people into automatons and I still have a vivid memory of one man who would sit in the same seat each day and would robotically wake up the second the train arrived in Penn Station, stand, grab his briefcase and walk off the train. I found it really scary yet soon enough, I was carrying a travel pillow in my messenger bag because the train motion lulled me to sleep like I was a mere baby.

I hated the way a train schedule dictated my entire life. I hated how I almost missed the train one morning and got into a fight with the trucker driver that caused my delay. He tried and failed repeatedly to properly back his rig up to a loading dock and wound up blocking the street for minutes on end. I was forced to get out of my dad’s car to run about 5 city blocks in order to make it work on time. Of course I had to yell at the guy too – “Don’t you know the train schedules asshole?! There’s only 1 every half an hour and you choose now to fuck this up! Don’t you realize that people need to get to work?!” Sure enough, he got out, hopped down and wound up grabbing my coat and throwing me against a fence. He was about to hit me too until I taunted him with, “Go ahead and hit me, please hit me. My father is in that car back there. He’s a lawyer. I’ll own you.” Definitely one of my prouder moments. Anyway, he put me down, my father yelled at both of us and I ran and just caught the train. Suburbia was making me crack and I needed out.

My hatred for my commute was such that I vowed that when I was finally able to move into the big city, I would frame my monthly LIRR pass as a reminder of what I left behind. A week or so after the trucker incident, I called up one of my friends (my future roommate) and said, “Dude, It doesn’t have to happen immediately but I cannot live at home any longer with no hope. I need to know if you want to look for apartments together. Again doesn’t need to be now. Frankly, I’m not sure if I have the money yet. However, I can’t afford a studio so I need a roommate and wanted to know if you wanted to look together.” His response was miraculously, “Actually, I was just talking to a co-worker today who you sort of know about getting a triple. Would you want to be the third guy?” “Would I? YES!” The second apartment we saw we took and the rest is, as they say, is history.

So, I now have a slightly tattered February, 2000 light green Long Island Rail Road monthly pass sitting on the shelf above my bed. I framed it when I moved into the city in 3/00 and its been with me ever since. I used to think that the house, the deck, the yard, the space, the neighborhood, the car and all the other things the ‘burbs bring with it was worth it if you had a family. I used to say, “This is great for the future. But for now, this sucks.” Now I’m not so sure about the future. I don’t think I ever want to leave the city. Each time I go out to the ‘burbs I have the same feeling: I love to visit but can’t wait to leave. Who needs a house that constantly needs something redone or repaired done when I can live in a hotel? I can’t fathom living outside of an urban environment again, thus my love for that Times article.

My favorite phrase in the entire article was “Adding insult to tedium,” which was used to explain how a mostly non-pedestrian lifestyle caused 15 lbs of weight gain for one commuter. Here are some other good quotes from the article:

“It’s like death out there. I can’t wait 15 minutes in a bagel store to get two bagels. I can’t have people looking at me like I’m crazy when I walk in and put a quarter on the table to get my paper and walk out. I go home and there’s, like, people doing their lawn every five minutes. They seem like normal people but they spend, like, hours working on their lawn.” – Ronn Torossian, President and CEO of 5W Public Relations

“The suburbs have some way of sucking the city out of you” – Brian Lover, VP at the Corcoran Group
“When we come home and walk from the train to our apartment, there’s no one on the street between 7 and 10 p.m. It’s just that feeling of being alone. You walk the dog and there’s no one there.” – Sara Mendelsohn

“I spent many depressing nights at the Hoboken station. If you go out for a drink with friends, you’re always watching the clock” – Andrew McCaul, photographer

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Racist Suggestions

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“Employee error” contributed to a cross-selling effort on the Wal-Mart Web site that suggested that buyers of “Planet of the Apes” DVD boxed sets would also enjoy four African-American-themed films, including biographies of Dorothy Dandridge, Tina Turner, Jack Johnson and Martin Luther King, the company said Friday.
Via Todd

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Catholic Church on Freedom of Speech: TV Shows That Make Fun Of Our Religious Sentiments Shouldn’t Have It, But We Still Need It So We Can Continue To Tell Non-Christian Women What To Do With Their Bodies

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After the jump, read about how it looks as if Viacom, after dealing with lots of pressure from various Catholic groups, has banned Comedy Central from showing a repeat of a South Park episode. Yep. Censored like they were opposing the Tzar.

Thanks go Monty for the title – I think it’s my longest ever. It makes me think of Fiona Apple’s 2nd album title. Good title, bad album. However, her 3rd album rocks.

“South Park” Parked by Complaints

By Sarah Hall Tue Jan 3,12:06 PM ET for E! Online

Did Comedy Central grant the Catholic League its Christmas wish?

Following the Dec. 7 season finale of South Park, titled “Bloody Mary,” the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights slammed the network for its irreverent portrayal of church icons and sought to block the episode from being rebroadcast.

It appears the group may have met with success. A repeat of the finale was scheduled to air Wednesday night, but was pulled from the Comedy Central lineup without explanation.
In the episode, a statue of the Virgin Mary is believed to be bleeding from its rear end, inspiring faithful parishioners to flock from miles around to be healed by the miraculous blood.

Eventually, Pope Benedict XVI is called in to investigate, whereupon he determines that the statue is actually menstruating and thus is nothing special.

“A chick bleeding out her vagina is no miracle,” the pope declares in the episode. “Chicks bleed out their vaginas all the time.”

Somewhat predictably, the Catholic League was incensed by the satirical portrayal of the Virgin Mary and the pope and by the fact that the episode aired on the day before the Catholic Church celebrated its Feast of the Immaculate Conception.

The conservative group demanded an apology from Viacom, Comedy Central’s parent company, to Roman Catholics everywhere and “a pledge that this episode be permanently retired and not be made available on DVD.”

The Catholic League also sought a personal condemnation from Viacom board member Joseph A. Califano Jr., who the group noted is a “practicing Catholic.”

Califano was only too happy to oblige. After viewing the episode, he released a statement calling the episode an “appalling and disgusting portrayal of the Virgin Mary.”

“It is particularly troubling to me as a Roman Catholic that the segment has run on the eve and day of the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, a holy day for Roman Catholics,” Califano said.

Califano also pledged to have Viacom president and CEO Tom Freston review the episode.
Comedy Central did not respond to a request for comment on why “Bloody Mary” was yanked from the schedule.

Screencaps of the episode were no longer available on Comedy Central’s press site or on comedycentral.com’s South Park section.

The Catholic League previously tangled with Comedy Central in 2002 over a South Park episode titled “Red Hot Catholic Love,” but failed to produce any results.