Month: September 2009

literature

Six Word Stories

Posted on

33 writers. 5 designers. 6-word science fiction.
We’ll be brief: Hemingway once wrote a story in just six words (“For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”) and is said to have called it his best work. I myself have been writing poetry for years and believe that one of my shortest poems is probably my best. Along these lines, Wired Magazine asked sci-fi, fantasy, and horror writers from the realms of books, TV, movies, and games to take a shot themselves (this was back in 2006 – I wrote a draft of this post then and never got around to publishing it). While Arthur C. Clarke refused to trim his (“God said, ‘Cancel Program GENESIS.’ The universe ceased to exist.”), the rest are concise masterpieces.
After the jump, feel free to read the rest. I’ll keep you in suspense about my own poem until next week when I post it.
Failed SAT. Lost scholarship. Invented rocket.
– William Shatner
Computer, did we bring batteries? Computer?
– Eileen Gunn
Vacuum collision. Orbits diverge. Farewell, love.
– David Brin
Gown removed carelessly. Head, less so.
– Joss Whedon
Automobile warranty expires. So does engine.
– Stan Lee
Machine. Unexpectedly, I’d invented a time
– Alan Moore
Longed for him. Got him. Shit.
– Margaret Atwood
His penis snapped off; he’s pregnant!
– Rudy Rucker
From torched skyscrapers, men grew wings.
– Gregory Maguire
Internet “wakes up?” Ridicu -no carrier.
– Charles Stross
With bloody hands, I say good-bye.
– Frank Miller
Wasted day. Wasted life. Dessert, please.
– Steven Meretzky
“Cellar?” “Gate to, uh … hell, actually.”
– Ronald D. Moore
Epitaph: Foolish humans, never escaped Earth.
– Vernor Vinge
It cost too much, staying human.
– Bruce Sterling
We kissed. She melted. Mop please!
– James Patrick Kelly
It’s behind you! Hurry before it
– Rockne S. O’Bannon
I’m your future, child. Don’t cry.
– Stephen Baxter
1940: Young Hitler! Such a cantor!
– Michael Moorcock
Lie detector eyeglasses perfected: Civilization collapses.
– Richard Powers
I’m dead. I’ve missed you. Kiss … ?
– Neil Gaiman
The baby’s blood type? Human, mostly.
– Orson Scott Card
Kirby had never eaten toes before.
– Kevin Smith
Rained, rained, rained, and never stopped.
– Howard Waldrop
To save humankind he died again.
– Ben Bova
We went solar; sun went nova.
– Ken MacLeod
Husband, transgenic mistress; wife: “You cow!”
– Paul Di Filippo
“I couldn’t believe she’d shoot me.”
– Howard Chaykin
Don’t marry her. Buy a house.
– Stephen R. Donaldson
Broken heart, 45, WLTM disabled man.
– Mark Millar
TIME MACHINE REACHES FUTURE!!! … nobody there …
– Harry Harrison
Tick tock tick tock tick tick.
– Neal Stephenson
Easy. Just touch the match to
– Ursula K. Le Guin
Special Web-only edition: We were unable to include these 59 stories in the print magazine.
New genes demand expression — third eye.
– Greg Bear
K.I.A. Baghdad, Aged 18 – Closed Casket
– Richard K. Morgan
WORLD’S END. Sic transit gloria Monday.
– Gregory Benford
Epitaph: He shouldn’t have fed it.
– Brian Herbert
Batman Sues Batsignal: Demands Trademark Royalties.
– Cory Doctorow
Heaven falls. Details at eleven.
– Robert Jordan
Bush told the truth. Hell froze.
– William Gibson
whorl. Help! I’m caught in a time
– Darren Aronofsky and Ari Handel
Nevertheless, he tried a third time.
– James P. Blaylock
God to Earth: “Cry more, noobs!”
– Marc Laidlaw
Help! Trapped in a text adventure!
– Marc Laidlaw
Thought I was right. I wasn’t.
– Graeme Gibson
Lost, then found. Too bad.
– Graeme Gibson
Three to Iraq. One came back.
– Graeme Gibson
Rapture postponed. Ark demanded! Which one?
– David Brin
Dinosaurs return. Want their oil back.
– David Brin
Bang postponed. Not Big enough. Reboot.
– David Brin
Temporal recursion. I’m dad and mom?
– David Brin
Time Avenger’s mistaken! It wasn’t me…
– David Brin
Democracy postponed. Whence franchise? Ask Diebold…
– David Brin
Cyborg seeks egg donor, object ___.
– David Brin
Deadline postponed. Five words enough…?
– David Brin
Metrosexuals notwithstanding, quiche still lacks something.
– David Brin
Brevity’s virtue? Wired saves adspace. Subscribe!
– David Brin
Death postponed. Metastasized cells got organized.
– David Brin
Microsoft gave us Word. Fiat lux?
– David Brin
Mind of its own. Damn lawnmower.
– David Brin
Singularity postponed. Datum missing. Query Godoogle?
– David Brin
Please, this is everything, I swear.
– Orson Scott Card
I saw, darling, but do lie.
– Orson Scott Card
Osama’s time machine: President Gore concerned.
– Charles Stross
Sum of all fears: AND patented.
– Charles Stross
Ships fire; princess weeps, between stars.
– Charles Stross
Mozilla devastates Redmond, Google’s nuke implicated.
– Charles Stross
Will this do (lazy writer asked)?
– Ken MacLeod
Cryonics: Disney thawed. Mickey gnawed. Omigawd.
– Eileen Gunn
WIRED stimulates the planet: Utopia blossoms!
– Paul Di Filippo
Clones demand rights: second Emancipation Proclamation.
– Paul Di Filippo
MUD avatars rebel: virtual Independence Day.
– Paul Di Filippo
We crossed the border; they killed us.
– Howard Waldrop
H-bombs dropped; we all died.
– Howard Waldrop
Your house is mine: soft revolution.
– Howard Waldrop
Warskiing; log; prop in face.
– Howard Waldrop
The Axis in WWII: haiku! Gesundheit.
– Howard Waldrop
Salinger story: three koans in fountain.
– Howard Waldrop
Finally, he had no more words.
– Gregory Maguire
There were only six words left.
– Gregory Maguire
In the beginning was the word.
– Gregory Maguire
Commas, see, add, like, nada, okay?
– Gregory Maguire
Weeping, Bush misheard Cheney’s deathbed advice.
– Gregory Maguire
Corpse parts missing. Doctor buys yacht.
– Margaret Atwood
Starlet sex scandal. Giant squid involved.
– Margaret Atwood
He read his obituary with confusion.
– Steven Meretzky
Time traveler’s thought: “What’s the password?”
– Steven Meretzky
I win lottery. Sun goes nova.
– Steven Meretzky
Steve ignores editor’s word limit and
– Steven Meretzky
Leia: “Baby’s yours.” Luke: “Bad news…”
– Steven Meretzky
Parallel universe. Bush, destitute, joins army.
– Steven Meretzky
Dorothy: “Fuck it, I’ll stay here.”
– Steven Meretzky

music

Possibly The Greatest Phish Song Ever

Posted on

Phish is back with a vengeance and their 3.0 incarnation is blowing the doors off every venue they play. They have over the past few months debuted a whole slew of new songs, starting first during their historic Hampton three show run back in March and then continuing during their recently concluded Summer tour.
As an aside, I was at the first Hampton show which I still have not written about on this blog but I can honestly say that it was such a transcendent experience that other than seeing Page and Plant live in London in 1998 – I actually saw them two nights in a row, first with 2,000 people at Shepherds Bush Empire and then the next night at a BBC studio with 200 people which is when I got to high five Jimmy Page – it was the best single concert I’ve ever attended (I preface “single” because I was at Woodstock ’94). When Phish opened the show with “Fluffhead,” a phan favorite that they never played during their 2.0 incarnation, everyone lost their shit the way that Oprah’s audience did when she gave them all a car. It was chaos and it was phantastic.
Okay, now back to the present. I’ve been lucky enough to see Phish 5 times (so far) in 2009 and while I am a huge phan of some of their new songs, like “Backwards Down the Number Line,” one song in particular, a Jon Fishman original called “Party Time” that was debuted at their Merriweather Post Pavilion show on 8/15 which I attended, is just so flat out amazing that it not only vaulted its way immediately into my top 5 all time list but it quite possibly could be the best Phish song ever.
Oh yes, I did really write that statement. “Chalk Dust Torture,” “The Mango Song,” “Harry Hood” and “Down With Disease” now have a new neighbor. Come waste your time with me? No thanks “Waste” – you are now in the sixth slot because I just checked my watch and it says that it’s party time!
I feel so honored to have been at the debut of “Party Time.” It is such a rarity to have been at the only occurrence of a Phish song but right now there is one and only one version of this song out there – from Merriweather Post Pavilion, period. Even “Backwards Down the Number Line” which I mentioned above they have played about 5 times already. While you can listen to over 100 different live versions of “Tweezer,” there is only one live version of “Party Time” and I cannot wait for the first 20 minute version to be busted out. Festival 8 is around the corner and I’m praying they open with a nice long version of it.
A fellow phan and phriend of mine said in an email to me that,

“It is a rare event when a new song is debuted and immediately accepted by the crowd. I can’t wait for it to be played again and get tighter. The energy and goofiness of the song mixed with the odd rhythms and almost impossible layering of parts that shouldn’t make sense, but somehow seem to gel perfectly is almost the definition of what I love about Phish.”

I couldn’t agree more. Don’t believe me or my phriend? Check out the video below and you’ll probably never need to ask what time it is again because it will be permanently “Party Time!” ‘Nuff said.

Video via Nib