We're Going to Cover That In Phase 2

Usually I try to write a witty original title for a post, something that sort of implies what the post is about but at the same time adds a touch of ironic detachment. There is no way I could do that here. My title needed to be as simple as Axl’s album is complex. After 17 years a new GnR album has been released. I have it. I’ve listened to it a few times. It does not suck. In many places it flat out rocks. I’m surprised but I’m not.
Chuck Klosterman, author of Sex, Drugs and Coco Puffs (one of the funniest books I’ve ever read – I literally laughed out loud on the 6 train reading it which caused a good number of passengers to stare at me), wrote a review in the Onion AV Club section which does a great job of summing up the album. He sets the tone when he says right off the bat that,

“Reviewing Chinese Democracy is not like reviewing music. It’s more like reviewing a unicorn. Should I primarily be blown away that it exists at all? Am I supposed to compare it to conventional horses? To a rhinoceros? Does its pre-existing mythology impact its actual value, or must it be examined inside a cultural vacuum, as if this creature is no more (or less) special than the remainder of the animal kingdom?”

I too am incredibly confused and conflicted about listening to and reviewing the album. What am I supposed to do? Should I compare it to solely the GnR back catalog when the band was the band? Should I try to forget my years of longing for this mystery album, of joking about how Axl was driving the GnR legacy off a steep Hollywood Hills cliff, of thinking of Axl locked away in a studio endlessly turning multicolored knobs to get things exactly perfect and most of all of wondering if he will ever just stop and release the album?
In full disclosure, I must inform you that I love GnR. One of my great musical disappointments is not having seen the old pre-Axl buying the name and going his own way Guns n Roses live. I was a meek junior high school student when the “Use Your Illusion” albums were out and an even meeker and younger child when “Appetite” and “Lies” debuted so its not like I really had an option to go to a show but I still, I lived in that era and am super bummed I missed out, especially the Guns n Roses / Metallica tour in 1992.
Sure, this new album technically only has one original GnR member on it in Axl while the Slash’s Snakepit album from 1994 had four original GnR members in it but “It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere” sounds more like Tesla than GnR while “Chinese Democracy” sounds a lot like it should have been titled “Use Your Illusion 3.”
I actually started to write this post right when I got the album but I’m glad I waited to let the music seep in. Now more than ever I think the “Illusion” reference is particularly on target. An “Appetite” homage this is not – I mean, Axl even reuses the “What we’ve got here is failure to communicate” quote from “Cool Hand Luke” which was used at the beginning of “Civil War” (a “UYI 2” song). Axl’s voice is a still a strong live wire – I hear his screech and half the time my mind’s eye immediately sees Ahnold leather jacket clad on motorcycle in “Terminator 2” – I just can’t help.
The album features some fast kick ass hard rocking songs. There also some slow November Rain / Estranged like piano driven ballads which give it the “UYI” feel. I’m not in love with the album per se but I am in serious like. I keep finding myself listening to it whenever I get a chance – I keep challenging myself to see if I really like and if so, what do I think this mean about Axl’s role in the band’s past considering this album is his demonic baby.
Right now, my favorite songs are “Catcher in the Rye” (which along with “Street of Dreams” reminds me of “Yesterdays” – another “UYI 2” song) and “I.R.S.” Axl sings on “Catcher” that “If I thought that I was crazy, I guess I’d have more fun” and if that comment is about the torturous process of making this album, I’m happy to report that to me in the end it was worth the wait.