I had no clue the Onion is doing video until I saw the clip below and after watching it, I for one am going to start watching more of their Onion News Network. Prepare to laugh – alot – so get your beverage away from the keyboard. Sometimes I feel like control-alt-deleting myself too…
Via Chris
Mothership, a two-CD compilation of 24 remastered tracks culled from all eight Led Zeppelin studio albums is scheduled to be released on November 13th 2007 on the Atlantic/Rhino records label. The tracklist was handpicked by surviving Zep members Robert Plant, Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones and will boast such signatures as Whole Lotta Love, Stairway to Heaven, Kashmir, Dazed and Confused and Rock and Roll.
Mothership will be offered in multiple media configurations:
Also scheduled to be released the same day is a new DVD version of the concert film The Song Remains the Same, in 5.1 surround sound and expanded to include all 14 songs that were performed during the 1973 Madison Square Garden shows in NYC. Among the extras are performances of Misty Mountain Hop, Over The Hills and Far Away, Celebration Day, and The Ocean; a 1976 BBC interview of Jimmy Page and Robert Plant and a Cameron Crowe radio show. TSRTS will also be offered in multiple media configurations:
“We have revisited ‘The Song Remains The Same’,” says Jimmy Page, “and can now offer the complete set as played at Madison Square Garden. This differs substantially from the original soundtrack released in 1976, and highlights the technical prowess of Kevin Shirley, who worked with us on ‘How The West Was Won’. When it comes to ‘The Song Remains The Same’, the expansion of the DVD and soundtrack are as good as it gets on the Led Zeppelin wish list.”
Get the full track listing after the break. Depending on how much they cost, I actually want the collectors editions and even though this is Led Zep, I cannot believe I’m making that statement.
“Mothership” Track Listing:
Disc One:
01. Good Times Bad Times
02. Communication Breakdown
03. Dazed And Confused
04. Babe I’m Gonna Leave You
05. Whole Lotta Love
06. Ramble On
07. Heartbreaker
08. Immigrant Song
09. Since I’ve Been Loving You
10. Rock And Roll
11. Black Dog
12. When The Levee Breaks
13. Stairway To Heaven
Disc Two:
01. Song Remains The Same
02. Over The Hills And Far Away
03. D’Yer Maker
04. No Quarter
05. Trampled Under Foot
06. Houses Of The Holy
07. Kashmir
08. Nobody’s Fault But Mine
09. Achilles Last Stand
10. In The Evening
11. All My Love
“The Song Remains The Same” track listing:
Disc One:
01. Rock And Roll
02. Celebration Day
03. Black Dog (including Bring It On Home)*
04. Over The Hills*
05. Misty Mountain Hop*
06. Since I’ve Been Loving You*
07. No Quarter
08. The Song Remains The Same
09. Rain Song
10. The Ocean*
Disc Two:
01. Dazed And Confused
02. Stairway To Heaven
03. Moby Dick
04. Heartbreaker*
05. Whole Lotta Love
Further details and Pre-Order information will be provided soon.
Like many people, I love the Simpsons. Seriously. I have seasons 2 – 11 on VHS tape because my mother said when I was in 7th grade, “You should tape the episodes if you like the show because its going to be canceled any day now.” That statement was made in the year 1990. In case you don’t have a calendar, 17 years have passed.
Along with Seinfeld, the Simpsons constitute the core of what I believe humor to be and while the show’s quality has dipped in recent years, I still and always will love Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, Maggie, Santa’s Little Helper, Snowball I, Snowball II, the entire Flanders family, Comic Book Guy, Dr. Marvin Monroe, Kent Brockman, Troy McClure, Barney, Moe, Disco Stu, Snake, Professor Frink, Carl, Lenny, Nelson, Mr. Burns, Smithers, Principal Skinner, Super Nintendo Chalmers, Kang, Kodos, etc. I basically can go on forever because all of the characters are important but I’ll just stop there so that this doesn’t become a 10,000 word post.
I have been putting this off for way too long now but as the movie is opening this coming Friday, I am running out of time to collect all things Simpsons into one massive post. If you haven’t noticed the Simpsons paraphernalia in the media lately, you are blind, deaf and dumb because yellow is in and it’s everywhere. Therefore, here is a run-down of all the cool stuff that has been going on for the past month or so:
1) Springfield, VT won a nationwide contest to see which Springfield would debut the movie. It’s video beat out Springfield, Illinois by only 1,000 votes (15k to 14k) but the party which was held last weekend wasn’t even close. For the debut, Page McConnell of Phish was there to play the Simpsons theme song, Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream debuted a special one-time one-day only flavor called Duff & D’oh-Nuts and renamed “Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough” to “Chocolate Chip Cookie D’oh” for the day. Last but certainly not least, Magic Hat Brewery made a special batch of Duff Beer.
2) Certain 7-Elevens nationwide have turned themselves into Kwik-E-Marts. This bit of product placement is way cooler than GM doing all the cars in the Transformers movie. Below is a photo from a Flickr photo set of the Kwik-E-Mart, I mean 7-Eleven, in Times Square.
3) The Simpsons Movie web site is pretty cool. Not only can you explore all things Springfield but the site allows you to make your own Simpsons avatar who lives there. Mine I named Double Jays and you can see him below along with a screen shot of Double Jays hanging in Moe’s Tavern:
4) Burger King has a viral site called Simpsonsize Me where you can upload a photo and see what it looks like when you’ve been Simpsonized. My pic, which looks nothing like me, is posted below:
5) ESPN has a great article about the classic “Homer at the Bat” episode. Yes, I can sing all the words of the “Talkin Baseball” parody and yes, I do on occasion shout “Mattingly, shave those sideburns!” during key moments of Yankee games just for shits and giggles. This is one of many episodes I have on tape complete with circa 1990 commercials. Hysterical, always and forever.
I cannot wait for Friday!
I loved Brian May, the lead guitarist from “Queen” before but now I love him even more. It seems that being a rock god isn’t enough for him: he wants to finish the astrophysics degree which he put aside when “Queen” started to take off. While his thesis is titled “Radial Velocities in the Zodiacal Dust Cloud,” I know I would enjoy it more if somehow he worked in “Under Pressure” or “Another One Bites The Dust” into the title.
Read more after the jump.
Brian May is completing his doctorate in astrophysics, more than 30 years after he abandoned his studies to form the rock group Queen.
The 60-year-old guitarist and songwriter said he plans to submit his thesis, “Radial Velocities in the Zodiacal Dust Cloud,” to supervisors at Imperial College London within the next two weeks.
May was an astrophysics student at Imperial College when Queen, which included Freddie Mercury and Roger Taylor, was formed in 1970. He dropped his doctorate as the glam rock band became successful.
Queen were one of Britain’s biggest music groups in the 1970s, with hits including “Bohemian Rhapsody” and “We Will Rock You.”
After Mercury’s death in 1991, May recorded several solo albums, including 1998’s “Another World.” But his interest in astronomy continued, and he co-wrote “Bang! The Complete History of the Universe,” which was published last year.
He was due to finish carrying out astronomical observations at an observatory on the island of La Palma, in Spain’s Canary Islands, on Tuesday, the observatory said.
May told the British Broadcasting Corp. that he had always wanted to complete his degree.
“It was unfinished business,” he said. “I didn’t want an honorary Ph.D. I wanted the real thing that I worked for.”
Recently I was sent a humor piece titled “The Seven Deadly Sins of Dating” written by Jonathan Selwood which was definitely good enough to share. Lust, envy, wrath, gluttony, pride, greed and sloth have never been so funny. If only “Seven” was like this – Brad Pitt would have been crying out of laughter, not because his wife’s head was chopped off (oh no – did I just ruin the movie for you? Pretend this post never happened…)
Enjoy the entire piece after the jump.
Is your list of sexual conquests stuck in the low three figures? Do you have less than ten amateur sex tapes currently circulating on the Internet? Do you feel embarrassed employing fellatio as your primary method of career advancement?
You are not alone. There are literally tens of women worldwide who are just as virtuous as you. But despair not, Hollywood native Jonathan Selwood’s guide to the Seven Deadly Sins of Dating will have you rivaling Paris Hilton in no time.
LUST
Outside of binge drinking, lust is probably the single most important dating tool a woman has. Whether you’re looking for a drunken quickie in the bathroom stall, or a long-term commitment lasting an hour or more, lust is what ultimately keeps your ankles up by your ears.
Sadly, the new millennium has found this “sleaziest of sins” to be in serious decline. Believe it or not, the average 18-34 year-old man is 38% less lusty than he was only ten years ago*. The unlikely culprit? You. And by “you,” I don’t mean women in general, I mean Britney Spears.
Again and again, Britney is celebrated in the international tabloid press for bravely facing the paparazzi sans panties. And as usual, the tabloids have shown themselves to be little more than a propaganda mouth piece for the all-powerful Hollywood publicity machine—after all, a true slut wouldn’t have been wearing anything at all. Tabloids j’accuse!
My extensive (one might even say intrusive) research on the subject suggests that by going stark naked in public the average young woman will increase the ambient lust factor by a full 3.8%-4.3%. That’s 3.8%-4.3% more random strangers asking you to accompany them behind the Dumpster, and 3.8%-4.3% more notches in the ole belt (which, of course, you won’t need anymore).
*Yale Journal of Wildly Unsubstantiated Claims, Spring, 2006
ENVY
Despite their excess facial hair and musky scent, men are emotionally fragile creatures who need to be constantly—even relentlessly—reminded that you care. And if our brave astronauts have taught us anything over the last few years, it’s that nothing shows you care like driving cross-country while wearing a diaper.
WRATH
As might be expected, envy segues nicely into wrath. No man feels truly loved until he’s had his genitalia threatened by kitchen shears. Remember to mail a pair in advance to any romantic vacation spots you might be visiting, because they don’t let you carry them on the airplane anymore.
In addition, while I would certainly never personally endorse dousing your romantic rivals in gasoline and lighting them on fire, it’s a good start. Better yet, combat global warming by using biodiesel.
GLUTTONY
I’m not saying that excess food, alcohol, and drugs won’t potentially lead to obesity, hangovers, chronic illness, public humiliation, mental impairment, misery, and an early grave. All I’m saying is that it worked for Anna Nicole.
PRIDE
Are you proud to be black? Proud to be an American? Or perhaps even the proud parent of an honor student? Well then you’re already there!
If, on the other hand, you’re like most women (i.e., trapped in an overflowing latrine of self-loathing), pride might be a little harder to come by. Personally, I recommend trying to be proud of the little things—like the time you wore a tube top to the opera.
With practice, you might even be able to perform your thrice-nightly “walk of shame” without sobbing uncontrollably.
GREED
Greed is passion. Greed is desire. It’s about flipping the bird to convention, looking out for your own best interest, and living your life the way you want to.
That’s why I recommend becoming a prostitute.
SLOTH
What ever happened to body hair? Remember the Eighties when Tom Selleck’s shag-rug of a chest made the girls swoon and Brooke Shield’s eyebrows covered 90% of her forehead? Go back another decade, and there’s the original Joy of Sex–a book so hairy you need an Epilady just to read it. Hell, remember when Elliott Gould was a sex symbol? (Well, I don’t, but he was.)
Call them hypocritical filthy patchouli-reeking sellouts, but you have to admit, the hippies were lazy. Why not follow their slothful example and return to that fabled Summer of Love?
I say we stop with the plucking and get back to the f#!%ing. We’re all descended from lice-ridden monkeys; it’s time we started to look the part. Let those eyebrows unify. Let that troublesome leg stubble become a carefree winter pelt. Give that antiperspirant something to clump on to…
And remember, ladies, nothing says “Go!” like a ‘fro down below.
Jonathan Selwood grew up in Hollywood and is the author of the forthcoming novel, The Pinball Theory of Apocalypse (Harper Perennial, August 2007.) He received an M.F.A. from Columbia University and now lives in Portland, Oregon.
After watching a car careening around Paris, I thought of another unauthorized car ride around a metropolis: the famous car chase from “The French Connection” which is considered the best movie car chase of all time.
The scene was filmed in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn roughly running down the B (now the D) subway line which runs on an L above 86th Street in Brooklyn. Many of the shots in the scene were “real”, in that Hackman actually drove the car at high speeds through uncontrolled traffic and red lights with Friedkin running a camera from the backseat while wrapped in a carpet for protection. The production team received no prior permission from the city for such a dangerous stunt and the only precaution taken was to place a “gumdrop” police siren on the car’s roof and blare the horn which has only added to this scene’s mystique. Enjoy the ride!
The video below is from 1976, it was shot at 4 or 5 in the morning (which makes sense considering how little traffic is on the road – thankfully) and it is flat out ridiculous. If you have ever been to Paris, enjoy the ride!
It seems that I have not posted a damn thing for the past almost 3 weeks. It’s the summer: TV shows should be in repeats, your shrink should be away (oh wait, that is just August) and everything moves a bit, well, slower. That being said constant reader, look forward to a post barrage coming your way!
Up to 126,000 Americans, Iraqis and other foreigners are working for the United States government in Iraq as contractors yet the toll the war’s toll on them has largely been hidden. About 1,000 have died since the conflict began, and nearly 13,000 have been injured. Although some are well paid, many more actually collect only modest wages. It is these people who provide support services vital to the military, not the military itself anymore.
As their reward, they are facing the same issues that the military is facing yet they receive zero of the support that the military receives (okay, after reading about Walter Reed, it doesn’t seem that everything is rosy over there either). Their injuries and problems are not really addressed and their health insurance is surprisingly not helpful (shocker!).
For instance, 24% of the Dyncorp police trainers showed symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder after their deployment and those findings parallel an Army study earlier this year that about 17% of personnel in Army combat units in Iraq showed symptoms of P.T.S.D. one year after their deployment, said Dr. Charles W. Hoge, chief of psychiatry at the Army’s Walter Reed Institute for Research.
The numbers actually are worse than that though because if marital problems, alcohol abuse and other adjustment problems are counted, the number rises to 30% to 35%, said Col. Elspeth C. Ritchie, a psychiatric consultant to the Army surgeon general.
Doesn’t this sort of info just warm your heart? To me, it’s yet another reason why we need to end this stupid war already.
I learned yesterday of a very interesting option for women in New York City who need a safe way of getting home after a long night out. A non-profit called Right Rides runs two programs about which I will spreading the word, through this site and through my own word-of-mouth, because they might save someone I know from a potentially horrid situation.
These programs are RightRides, where they offer women, transpeople and gender queer individuals a free, late-night ride home to ensure their safe commute to or through high-risk areas, and Safe Walk, where they offer walking escorts for any one who doesn’t want to walk alone. The cars are donated by ZipCar and the organization even won NY1’s New Yorker of the Week award last month.
If you wind up using either of these services, drop me a comment and let me know what they experience was like, how long it took to get picked up, etc.
Via Kirsten