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The Onion's Take On The US's Relationship with Footie

The Onion’s recent World Cup related article Devastated By U.S. World Cup Team’s First-Round Loss, Nation Grinds To Halt is so satirically funny it just has to be read and shared. My favorite part reads:

It is estimated that over 85 percent of U.S. households were watching the USA–Czech Republic matchup. And going into the game that most Americans have been waiting for, analyzing, and all but living for during the past four years, schools, offices, shopping centers—everything, in fact, except vital services—closed their doors as the game began.

Say you were from another planet, or the Midwest, and you didn’t know that The Onion is a humor publication nad that the article was a humor piece, the 85% would have been the dead giveaway. I’m not even positive that eight-tenths of one percent of U.S. households watched the match, forget about 8.5%.
I for one have felt lately that The Onion just isn’t as funny as it used to be. Hopefully, this article proves that they are back on track. Either that or I am just in love with all things footie right now. I can say for certain that one or both of those two statements is correct.

2 thoughts on “The Onion's Take On The US's Relationship with Footie

  1. Are you such a misguided New York Liberal Elitist that you think that all of us out here in the wastes of the Midwest are just a bunch of local yokels?
    For your information The Onion didn’t start in the Mecca of civilization and culture that the Big Apple is (although they did move to NYC in 2001). No the Onion began in the Big Cheese, Madison, Wisconsin. Yeah, right in the heart of the Midwest. So I think we’ve heard of it.
    Next time you decide to pick on a region of this country for being backwards, don’t pick on the Midwest, there are much better targets than that. First would be the deep south like Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas & Texas (how can you not pick on Texas) those southerners talk even funnier than you New Yawkers. Or you could play it safe and just pick on West Virginia; I don’t even think they even know what the internet is.

  2. Dear Mr. Midwest,
    As the World Cup and the Olympics show, the world is a very large place while at the same time many countries are quite small. Compared to the rest of the world, the US is truly enormous: New York can equal England, the Midwest can equal Eastern Europe/Russia, the West can equal Asia and the Deep South, well, that is a place unto itself. You suggested that I swap the Midwest for the Deep South in my post which is something I would never do. I would never make fun of the Deep South lest I get lynched for being “that damn jewboy who sullied dixie.”
    I am not such a misguided NY Liberal Elitist (they have a lot of money, make movies, go to gallery openings, etc while I have and do none of those things) that I believe that everyone in the Midwest are yokels, however, if one were to look at a map of Jesusland, , the Midwest is squarely in the middle of it (yes, Michigan is an exception!) and those in Jesusland usually do not have a grand sense of humor. Madison is merely a pocket of humor in an otherwise humorless state. Didn’t you ever see “Fargo?” Yes, I know Fargo is in N.D. I’m just saying…
    Another point to raise is that it was almost over 5 years ago at this point that those plucky Madisonites left their dairy barns and moved to the Big Apple. So, if the Midwest was so terrific, they would have stayed there. Instead the entire publication, staff and all, moved to NYC in 2001. As they say on MTV – “True Story!”
    Thanks for the comment. Cheers!
    ~ jefe

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