A few weeks back I was contacted and asked if I had ever heard of the Weekly World News and if I had any interest in reviewing their new soon to be published compendium. Of course I knew WWN, a shining example of yellow journalism in action, and got very excited about my first foray into “official” journalism. A week ago I received the book and yesterday, I chatted for about 20 minutes with David Perel, the author of
“Bat Boy Lives: The Weekly World News Guild to Politics, Culture, Celebrities, Alien Abductions, and the Mutant Freaks that Shape our World.” Here it is folks, the very first “We’re Going to Cover That in Phase 2” interview! Enjoy.
JL: First things first, I’m sure my readers want to know simply: Do you take any of the WWN stories that seriously?
DP: Absolutely, you have to because if you don’t you can’t live in this universe.
JL: Really?
DP: If I did, I would be wearing one of those special jackets.
JL: You just totally contradicted yourself.
DP: Maybe.
JL: Okay. So my next question is this: Does Bat Boy really exist?
DP: Of course he exists, my god where have you been? He came from a cave – have you been living in one?
JL: Point taken. Are there aliens walking among us?
DP: Yeah, in fact a recent issue of WWN details that most settled in San Fran – makes sense if you’ve seen the inhabitants of that city or if you’ve dined there. The aliens must have brought good cuisine with them which explains the great restaurants.
JL: We talked about Bat Boy and Aliens. Let’s talk about another rarely seen creature, the compassionate conservative – have you seen one as well?
DP: I haven’t, though theoretically one is possible considering that there are dinosaurs still alive.
JL: When did you introduce Hilary Clinton to her alien lover P’lod?
DP: God, I can’t remember. Early 90s first term. Don’t know the exact date, sorry. Bill was quite jealous. P’lod has a lot of political clout, I mean, he has correctly predicted every election since 1980.
JL: In what setting where they introduced?
DP: I can’t really remember.
JL: Is she still seeing him and if so, is he advising Hilary on policy issues?
DP: No question he is helping her towards a run in 2008. I’m sure she’ll name a human campaign manager but in truth its P’lod running things behind the scenes.
JL: Back to the book. How many copies is the company looking to sell? What is the company’s expectation?
DP: Definitely an Oprah “Book of the Month” selection. Should be in the running for the Pulitzer and I think it will sell couple hundred thousand copies at least.
JL: Are there plans for a sequel or have you used up all up your material?
DP: There are talks in the works. There is a lot of material since the paper appear around since 1979 so we’ll see.
JL: Who do you consider are this book’s greatest competitors?
DP: War and Peace is pretty much it. There are really only 2 literary classics and we are a much quicker read. That guy who wrote War and Peace doesn’t have staying power. Plus, he’s got to make up his mind. War or peace, not both. It shows a lack of focus.
JL: If your book was a dish, what would it be?
DP: I hate questions like this. I don’t know. Linguini with white clam sauce.
JL: Good clams or bad?
DP: Good.
JL: Another food question: Which do you prefer, Mounds and Almond Joy?
DP: Mounds.
JL: Really?
DP: Wait. Which is in the one with almonds?
JL: Almond Joy. You know, ‘Sometimes you feel like a [I made a “honk” sound effect], sometimes you made a “clang” sound effect]’
DP: Almond Joy? Yeah, definitely Almond Joy. You have feel like a nut to do this.
JL: You also wrote Freak!: Inside the Twisted World of Michael Jackson. Who is a bigger freak, Michael Jackson or Bat Boy?
DP: I don’t think there is any question. Bat Boy wants to be accepted by society. Bat Boy never had a sleep over with anyone under the age of 14. Bat Boy never considered cosmetic surgery. Bat Boy has never referred to wine as “Jesus juice.” Bat Boy talks with normal human and looks like he does when born.
JL: Switching gears now. What effect has Photoshop had in terms of the authenticity of your photos?
DP: It was created more opportunities to do more things.
JL: Okay. What written piece are you most proud of?
DP: I wrote a great poem but unfortunately somebody has written one incredibly similar and he gets credit for it instead of me – I think his nameis T.S. Elliot
JL: If you were stranded on a desert island and could only have one book, which one would it be?
DP: The Bat Boy book of course! I have a serious short term memory deficit so every time I open it its brand new to me.
JL: Last, to wrap up, pretend I’m a publisher who has got all sort of advance money to throw around. Say the quarter is ending and I’ve got to clear my books. Basically, if you pitch me a good book idea I’ll give you money to write it. What would you pitch me?
DP: Hmm. (About 10 seconds go by as he thinks about). Hmm. I don’t know. You know what? I’ve got nothing. I probably would just take out my .357 and take your money. Armed robbery is a viable solution in that case.
When we started the interview, David scanned my blog and one comment he said to me was, “I think you spelled ‘Hashanah’ wrong in one of your previous posts. You have two S’s in it and I think it should be ‘sh.'” I just love getting spelling and grammar comments from a man who claims to have snorkeled with the Loch Ness Monster’s baby, especially when the he’s right. Even though there are about 10 different spellings, I’m pretty sure mine is on not of the approved list.
At the end of the interview, I told him that he should please check back on my site to read the interview once I post it and to post a comment if he feels that I got anything wrong. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to tape the interview – I merely tried to take great notes. I also told him that he should post comments on other posts as well, even if they are just grammar comments like the one he made on Tidbits. Speaking more about the Jewish New Year, I told him, “My favorite joke about the Jewish holidays is that “Every Jewish holiday boils down to ‘They tried to kill us, they didn’t, let’s eat.'” He laughed and said, “That reminds of my favorite Jewish joke. Q: Why don’t Jews play the piano? A: Because you can’t pick up the piano and run.” I had a nice laugh and said good bye. Once you are swapping Jewish jokes, even though I never went to J-school I think I can pretty safely say that the interview is officially over.
I would like to thank DP, FSB Associates and Jeffery Anderson for making themselves and their book available to me. Hopefully when they have another book that needs to be reviewed, they’ll look me up again.