Yesterday, 3/18/04, was my first virtual birthday. While the day was special in some regards, it just didn’t feel as if it was my birthday. I use the term virtual for a number of reasons:

For starters, I received (by a wide margin) more birthday wishes via the Internet than I did via a phone line or my mailbox combined. While in some ways this was a positive, as I received notes all day long while at work, it was also a negative because some people used it as a substitute for other mediums. I never heard my father’s or sister’s voice yesterday. I cannot remember a birthday when that happened. While they sent me instant message birthday wishes, they never picked up the phone and in truth I would have preferred to hear them sing “Happy Birthday.”

The second reason is because the day felt like a birthday hologram. It existed, but not really. Out of my good friends, a large contingent didn’t do/say anything to denote that yesterday was a special day for me. This was disappointing but not totally unexpected. Each year your birthday is interesting because you know that certain people are going to get in touch with you while you hope that certain others will remember you in some manner. You look forward to hearing from both groups but the hope group always is more fun because you never know what you’re going to get and who is going to call. This year, while I heard from almost everyone in my know group (which always is nice and is in no way being diminished), my entire hope group remained silent.

A third reason is because I celebrated it in a very low-key fashion. I bragged throughout the work day about my big evening plans, how I decided to spend the evening in my apartment on the couch watching the NCAA basketball tournament, eating pizza and drinking beer the way I did back in college. I thought it was a great idea and sounded fun. However, sitting on a couch, waiting for a phone to ring while watching game after game isn’t nearly as fun or exciting as I thought it would be.
A fourth reason is there was no special dessert, no candle, no cake, no song. I cannot remember a birthday where I didn’t enjoy a cookie, brownie, slice of cake or something sweet while blowing out a flame.

Now, I am somewhat to blame for my disappointment because I didn’t send an “I was born let’s celebrate at this bar” email to my friends which usually jogs the memory of those who have forgotten. I didn’t clearly state what I wanted to do because I frankly didn’t know what I wanted to really do. However, I just wasn’t really in the mood this year to bang the “pay attention to me “make me feel special” drum. Maybe it is because I had just returned from Amsterdam and was sick of planning things. Maybe it is because I’m now 27, which really doesn’t mean a damn thing except that I’ve been on this planet for 27 years. Maybe it is because I wanted to see who would do what. Well, be careful for what you wish for because you just might get it. Next year, I’m breaking out the drum again and even though its obnoxious, I guess its better to be obnoxious, satisfied and happy than to be understated and disappointed.

Happy birthday to me.